Under and Over with Denise Rossetti

A lightning quick post to let you know I’m away traveling (Ireland and Paris) until 10th October and during that time my Internet access may be intermittent, but hey! - I’m nothing if not stubborn and I have my precious iPhone and a netbook. All I have to do is hand over money to make them talk to the Net from Over There. Piece of cake!

So…
You can find me ‘on the road’ with Twitter - @DeniseRossetti -
Facebook and of course, this blog. Hopefully, there’ll be pics, but that’s only if I remember to take them. I’m usually too busy talking. But I bought a raincoat (with a hood) from Army Disposals yesterday, so I’m all set for the Emerald Isle and the rain. Can’t believe it’s colder over there in summer than it is here on an only-just-spring day.

Bye!

Denise *bounce, bounce, bounce*

I so look forward to the Romance Writers of Australia Conference every year - and every year, it seems to get better. For you guys Over There, think about an organization about the size of a large RWAmerica chapter, and full to overflowing with fantastic, creative, obsessed, loud writers. Oh yeah, did I remember to say LOUD? LOL

The venue was the Crowne Plaza Hotel at Coogee Beach, a southern suburb of Sydney. This is the view from one of the upper rooms. Not, I hasten to add, mine. My room overlooked the tennis court, and though I kept a sharp eye out, there were no hunky tennis players, alas.

The Highlights:

The Book Signing was organized by the Australian Romance Readers Association and they did a fabulous job. It was noisy, frenetic, exhausting -  and a whole heap of fun.

The Cocktail Party theme was Fantasy Island which, um, leaves a certain amount of leeway costume-wise.  There were multiple Lara Crofts, Cleopatras and Princess Leias. Keri Arthur came as a dark angel and looked terrific, but Anne Gracie swept all away (as usual!) to win the prize as Dame Barbara Cartland (left). My personal fantasy was to be able to squeeeze into my purple medieval-type dress,which I did by giving up breathing for the night, so I wore that. Here I am with the Bennett sisters. Aren’t they demure? Get a load of the gowns and bonnets, let alone the spiffy reticule.

Of the workshops, two were standouts for me. Jessica Hart’s A-Z Survival Guide for Romance Writers was funny and touching and wise. This business might be sending me slowly but surely around the twist, but - hey! - I’m not alone. *snort* The other was How to Stage a Fight Scene with combat expert Ray Flores and two incredibly brave assistants. Ray was charming and funny - and absolutely lethal. What he did to a raw lamb roast with the merest flick of a knife gave me the shudders. On the other hand, I learned all sorts of useful techniques, and discovered I’ve been garroting people the wrong way for years. *evil cackle*

I did my workshop on Deep Point of View for an astonishing eighty people.  I survived, and fortunately, so did they. I’m thinking the chockies helped. When it’s my bum on the line, I’m a great believer in bribery and corruption. heh heh

The awards dinner is always such a joy. I love frocking up for a start. (I’ll have you know my evening wardrobe is now almost exclusively red. Wonder why?) Check out the shoe fest (left) with the lovely Lisa Barry - who is now, officially, a Master of Creative Writing (Romance). Go, Lisa!

Below, I’m with Eleni  Konstantine, tireless worker for RWA and total sweetheart. Eleni’s Taverna is the best blog. Also note beloved iPhone. LOL

All the contest winners receive their awards, but the big moment is the announcement of the R*BY Awards. These are a Big Hairy Deal, being our equivalent of the RITAs.It was delightful to see Sharon Archer, Amy Andrews, Tracey O’Hara and Sophia James win their respective sections.

But the best part of the evening - in fact, the most wonderful moment of the whole weekend for me, is when Anne Gracie gets everyone on their feet -

whether they submitted a contest entry or a query, published a book, contracted, finished a book or supported someone who’s writing. By the end, the whole room is standing and cheering. Always makes me want to cry.

On the Monday, I had the day to myself, so I tottered into Sydney city and did a tour of the Opera House. The tour was fascinating and the Harbour was stunning, as usual. Truly one of the great natural wonders of the world.  Next time I’m there, I swear I’m going to climb the Bridge, but I’ve hurt my knee and 400 steps up and back didn’t sound like such a bright idea.  One day…

If you’d like to read more and see more pics, you can try Kate Cuthbert at All About Romance, Paula Roe or Suzanne Brandyn. Plus, there’s the RWA blog. And I’m sure they’ll be more.

If you were there and I missed you somehow, I’m sorry. Don’t forget there’s always next year! Put a link in the comments if you have great pics. I’m not only a lousy photographer, I tend to talk too much and forget. Unbelievable, I know! *snicker*

When I saw this, I laughed out loud. don’t know what it’s like in your car, but in the Rossetti-mobile, it’s EXACTLY like this.

I have no clue why My Beloved soldiers grimly on, getting us lost, but it drives me around the bend and back again. (Sticking grimly with the metaphor here.) I suspect it’s something to do with that caveman instinct buried in the male hindbrain.

We bought one of those GPS navigator thingies to use while driving in the US and Canada. Guess what? He argued with it. He still argues with it. For the voice, we chose “Jane”, the cultured British gal. Sounds like she’s just stepped out of the BBC office for a mo to freshen up the lippie. For a while there, I was sure dear Jane was impervious to the ranting, but now I’m not so sure. She’s been dropping the occasional H. What’s next? Dropping the entire bundle?

Mind you, she and I might dead heat on the KER-SNAP!!  With the emphasis on dead.

Do you know any man who asks for directions? Do they even exist?

I thought you might like to see some real Australian animals.  I’ll tell you more about Broome and the Kimberley in another post - or several. Big subject, that!

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know I was invited to present a couple of workshops at the Romance Writers of Australia Roadshow in Perth, along with the amazing Keri Arthur (woot!) and the delightful Kelly Hunter, who is also our Madam Prez. I did a workshop on Deep Point of View and another on how to write sexy, which the organising gals called The Sealed Section. *snort* I had a load of fun and I learned lots of useful things. Hope everyone else did too. Hmm…

My Beloved and I had some spare time in Perth. Now Perth is a truly beautiful city. I love the wide Swan River and the fresh vibrant ambiance of the place, but… When we were there, the city turned on the worst weather EVER! Perth is always windy, but it was almost gale-force, honest. The rain blew in horizontal sheets. It was foul.  Also cold.

So what did we do? We went to the Zoo.  It’s a fabulous zoo, with all sorts of exotic animals, but I thought some of you might be particularly interested in Australian fauna.

This elderly dingo was off on his daily constitutional with his keeper. The ones we saw in the wild in the Kimberley didn’t look anywhere near so prosperous, just lean and mean.  But it gives you a good idea of these beautiful animals. Sadly, the station-owners lay baits for them, in order to protect their cattle and sheep. What that means is that the surviving dingoes often have to hunt alone rather than in a pack. So they can only prey on smaller animals, like bandicoots and numbats and other little furry critters. No wallabies or roos. The little guys have a hard enough time with feral cats and foxes. Not a good situation if you’re small and tasty and endangered already. *sigh*

This is a life size statue  of a Red Kangaroo in Perth. (Yeah, yeah, I know I promised real, but if you think I’d be snuggling up the real thing, you’re nuts!) I thought you might like to see the size of it. This is about as big as they get. Mind you, I’m not especially tall at 5ft 3in, but it’s impressive isn’t it? Gives a whole new impression of cute and cuddly roos. A big male like this can jump over 30 feet in one bound. You can also see how windy it is! Sunny Perth-  huh!

More on the Kimberley later. Don’t won’t to overload you with too many pictures of red rocks just yet…

I’m so sorry. You must think I’ve abandoned you, or died, or something.

I’ve been totally buried in edits. And immediately after I finished the first lot, My Beloved and I went away to Perth. I did two workshops for a Romance Writers of Australia Roadshow there. Together with the amazing Keri Arthur and the delightful Kelly Hunter. My first workshop was on Deep Point of View - writing from inside your characters’ heads. I was blown away by some of the talent in the room. In the afternoon, I did a “Sealed Session”, all about writing erotic and sexy. It was quite a hoot, believe me. We covered all kinds of topics. *grin*

Then we flew up to Broome, in the northwest of Western Australia and did a trip out to the Kimberley, to Purnululu National Park, where the Bungle Bungles are - the most extraordinary mountain range, shaped like beehives, pierced by incredible gorges and chasms. It was HOT out there. More about it later, with pictures.

Since we’ve returned, I’ve been re-buried under edits and on the Deadline From Hell. I should surface next week. I love to chat with you, but I’m thinking that in the long run, it’s the book that matters. Yes?

Anyway, all positive thoughts will be greatly appreciated. I’m not the happiest of campers at the moment…

Okay, here it is - the lowdown on the very first Australian Romance Readers Convention! Yeehah! It was da bomb!

It was such a total blast! For the first time, I had readers come up to me with wide eyes, saying how much they love my books and would I sign - pretty please? Well, gosh, let me think about that for an entire nano-second… I can’t imagine the thrill of it would ever get old, not for me, anyway.

Hardly any of these pictures are actually mine - I stole ‘em from other blogs all over, but I’ve linked to them further down so you can go read about all the stuff I missed. I’m such a doofus - or possibly such a gasbag (ya think?) - that although I carried my shiny new camera everywhere, I clean forgot to take photos. Well, duh!

Best memories?

• The absolutely incredible, ear-shattering noise as I walked into the Friday night welcome reception. Hundreds of women, all shrieking with joy as they greeted each other. A tree full of screaming rainbow lorikeets had nothing on it.
• If MaryJanice Davidson gets tired of writing, she could make her living as a stand-up comedian. That woman is seriously FUNNY!
• Sherrilyn Kenyon describing her Deep South family - “We ain’t real bright,” she said in her Southern gal drawl. The word bogan springs to mind. (The Aussie version of redneck for you Over There.) She was so gracious and giving. The readers just ate her up!
• Amy Andrews talking about the man who came into Emergency with a can of hair mousse shoved up his rectum. Yep, that was funny enough, but the looks on the faces of the American authors - MJD, Susan Grant and Liz Maverick - were priceless. “Moose?” they said. “You mean with…antlers?” OMG, it’s all in the pronunciation!

 This one time, at band camp… Authors share anecdotes about where their story ideas come from..

Left to Right:  Liz Maverick, Amy Andrews, MaryJanice Davidson, Susan Grant

• I moderated a panel, “Love and Alternate Realities”. The panelists were Susan Grant, Keri Arthur, Tracey O’Hara and Angela Verdenius. Gulp! I was a tad nervous, I must admit, but the panelists were so responsive and so damn funny, and the audience so warm, I forgot all about the nerves after a while.
• Tracey showed off her dragon tattoo, Angela talked about her eleven beloved cats, Keri confessed her Labrador dog weighs 50 kilos (almost 8 stone) and Susan, the fearless fighter pilot, is afraid of ants. Go figure.
• The conversation rapidly became very um, interesting, ranging from centaur sex to vampire sex to alien sex and also to that alpha male soul mate thing - as in, “You are my mate! I shall now ravish you - and you will enjoy it!” Yeah, well - I have news for you, idiot. See this frying pan? DONG!

Urban fantasy, Sci-fi, futuristic - Love and Alternate Realities

Left to Right: Tracey O’Hara, Susan Grant, Keri Arthur, Angela Verdenius and me (moderating)

• The Author Signing sessions were great. I sat next to Stephanie Laurens. (Not bragging, oh no!) Poor woman had no choice, I simply plonked myself down next to her. I signed my books and conversed with my charming, though very short queue - but mainly I chatted with the long line of readers waiting patiently for Stephanie to sign. Was  fun!
• And in another Brush with Fame, I was on a panel with Sherrilyn Kenyon. I actually sat next to her! Yep, no kiddin’.
• The duelling cameras were a hoot. That was when I finally recalled I possessed a photographic device and pointed it at Harlequin author, Paula Roe. Being Paula, she pointed hers right back at me.
• I’m in awe at the organising skill of the ARRC gals. The whole thing went like clockwork. And they raised over $7,000 for the Bushfire Appeal with a silent auction!
• The Jasper Hotel itself constituted a highlight. Each floor was painted a different very VIVID colour - as in eyeball searingly vivid. My floor was purple, others tangerine, neon green, electric blue. But the best was what the girls called the “Barbie Exploded” floor - a hot pink so completely unrepentant, I winced every time the lift doors swished open. Ouch!But the rooms themselves were soothing and comfortable, and the staff delightful.
• The gala dinner was luverly. Everyone got gussied up and I wore my favourite red hooker heels. Go me! Picture below courtesy of Erica Hayes’ blog. Erica is about to hit the romance world with her dark underworld of fairies and Things That Go Bump in the Night. Can’t wait!

From Left to Right: Me, Keri Arthur, Tracey O’Hara, Erica Hayes

If you’d like to see and read more, visit Liz Maverick’s blog. She even has a couple of videos!

Then there’s Kat and Wundergurl on Book Thingo. They did the Twitter thing.

Marg’s Reading Adventures and Tez Says. Not to mention the ARRC site itself!

There was much talk about the NEXT ONE! Oh, I do hope so. Sydney in 2011 was the buzz. We’ll see…

Don’t you wish you’d been there? *chuckle* I should mention, BTW, that everyone staggered away with armloads of free books. So - who’s on board for 2011? How many of you go to the Romantic Times Convention? Did you enjoy yourselves? I’m actually considering it for next year in Nashville. Woohoo!

I’m off to Melbourne early tomorrow morning - so early, that my sister (who possesses a particularly elegant turn of phrase) refers to it as being up at “sparrow fart”.  I agree, which gives you some idea of how good I am at mornings.

But it’s all in a GOOD CAUSE!

I’m going to the very first Australian Romance Readers Convention! Yeehah! Like a Down Under version of the Romantic Times Convention. I’ve linked the logo below to the website if you’d like to take a look. Sherrilyn Kenyon, Stephanie Laurens, MaryJanice Davidson, Susan Grant and, and… I’m moderating a panel with Susan Grant and Keri Arthur on it, how’s that for cool?

With so many famous, fabulous authors there, I kind of feel I’ll get lost in the rush, but I’m sure there’ll be someone around to talk fantasy and hot alien sex with. I have wild dreams of being mobbed by adoring fangirls who have all bought my books, but somehow I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Never mind, next time. Heh heh. Right. To be totally accurate, it’ll be me doing the fangirl squeee.  I’ll have to practise getting my tongue untangled and removing my foot from my mouth, red shoes and all.

Anyhow, I have my camera, so I’ll be back posting in a few days, armed with the incriminating evidence. Oh boy, I can hardly wait!

I’ve just returned from a couple of days on an island off the coast here. Lord, it’s beautiful! There’s something so incredibly calming about the rhythm of the ocean, hearing the boom and the rush, watching the waves roll in - over and over and over. I like to think it’s always there, regardless of what happens in my little life. It was very good for me, that small break with a group of good friends. I’ve been a trifle stressed lately. Can’t imagine why, can you?

We sat up on a headland and watched the sun set behind the beach. I’ve seen better ones there, but this was still pretty damn nice.

The beaches are endless, absolutely magnificent. Such a gift.

Yesterday, I swam in crystal clear water, bobbling around in nice little waves - just my size! There were toddlers making sandcastles, parents with cameras, kids with boogie boards, sandy tail-waving dogs. It was hot, hot, HOT! 31C, but the sea breeze was lovely. It made all the difference.

Afterwards, we  went to the pub - it has the best view in the entire world. See below - and if you look very carefully, you might even see a prawn trawler out to sea.

I sat at a table and inhaled a G&T with plenty of lemon and ice, followed by a pub lunch of crumbed barramundi and chips and salad.  You would have liked it.

So tell me, what places in the world do you find calming? Or exhilarating, for that matter?

And BTW, Michelle Buonfiglio at Lifetime’s Romance B(uy) the book just selected UNLACED as this year’s Best Erotic Anthology! Whoohoo! Here’s the whole list.

Who is this “average woman” anyway? You ever met her? I’m sure haven’t! I think she’s a mythical creature, like the Loch Ness monster, or Big Foot. Oh no, wait a sec, she can’t be Big Foot, ‘cos she wouldn’t be able to find shoes to fit her.

Okay, I admit it - this is a vent,  pure and simple. But honest to god, it drives me nuts that I can’t buy shoes or clothes because I’m not “average”. Hell’s bells, I don’t know anyone average, do you?

I’m not even going to talk about bra sizes. Grrr…

But shoes? Aaaargh! You all know how much I love shoes, but I have small feet. Not impossibly small, mind you, a size 5, or a 35 European. I know other women with the same size feet. My mother’s are a whole size smaller.

Over the years, I’ve developed a kind of slide-over-’em gaze, specially for shoe shops.  I give the place a quick once over, never focusing on any one pair, because I mustn’t fall in love and risk a broken heart.  Then I brace myself, buttonhole an assistant and ask, “What do you have in a five? Do you have anything in a five? At all?”

In my naivety, when we went to the US, I thought there’d be hundreds of pairs of beautiful shoes, all size five, all jostling on the shelves, competing to come home with me. The hard part was going to be selecting from among the multitudes. I even had my heart set of a pair of cowboy boots - red ones.

Nope. NOPE!

My Beloved bought a faaabulous pair of cowboy boots. Mark Nason, on a sale. They are just gorgeous. *whimper*

But for me? Same old story. *sigh* Yes, I did buy a couple of pairs on a sale, useful, but not special, you know? I saw shelf after shelf of beauties, not a one in my size.

Next time, I’m going to Hong Kong, or Singapore - somewhere where women have small feet!

Your turn. Wanna vent? Be my guest! Go for it!

The wit and imagination of people never ceases to amaze me. While we were away, I collected nifty names for businesses. Some of them made me laugh out loud, especially when I thought of the staff answering the phone. I suppose they get used to it!

So here it is, another Wordplay. (We haven’t had one for ages.) And also a “I’m home, honey!” CONTEST!! To celebrate - if that’s the right word - coming home.

Bean ‘n’ Gone Expresso Drive Thru - Oliver, Okanagan, BC, Canada

Pick a Part Wreckers - Chilliwack, BC, Canada

See Ya Later Ranch (and winery)  - Okanagan, BC, Canada. That’s their logo on the right. Isn’t it cute? The original owner of the ranch adored dogs and had about fifty over his lifetime, most buried in a doggy cemetery on the property. A prolific letter writer, he always sighed off, “See Ya Later!”

Light ‘n’ Your Load Laundry, San Francisco

Citizen Chain Bicycles,  San Francisco

Doo Wash Cleaners, San Francisco

Site for Sore Eyes Optometrist, San Francisco

Good Earth Real Estate, San Francisco

I think my absolute favourite might be the Pick a Part Wreckers, but Citizen Chain is really smart too.

THE PRIZES (TWO OF THEM!):

The other thing I discovered was this wonderful business in Juneau, capital of Alaska, that manufactures and sells the most beeyootiful enamels.  I bought TWO as prizes, one for writers, one for readers (though it doesn’t really matter - it’s totally up to you.) They had hundreds, so if you’re intrigued, visit Wm Spear Designs and go nuts.

Choose between the Bookwings, which is a PIN (brooch)  or the Write Hard, Die Free, which is a FRIDGE MAGNET. Just remember which is which! Aren’t they great?  I know the photos aren’t brilliant, but believe me, the quality of the enamels is stunning and the colours are true and gorgeous.

 THE CONTEST:

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post - and you DO need to say in the body of your comment which prize you’d prefer, because there are the two.

You don’t have to offer up a nifty name, though if you know one I’m sure  we’d all love to hear it. But don’t beat yourself up about being clever - it’s not necessary,  okay?  As usual, My Beloved will pick two comments at random, one for each prize.

Contest closes midnight, EST, Friday 12th September, 2008.