You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

Wait for it… Wait for it…

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.

Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: ‘I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay  behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.’

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to ‘Think Outside of the Box.’

Yeah, right. Stuff like this makes me want to reach for the nearest bucket. Talk about smartarsery! I much prefer this answer…

HOWEVER…., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

Doncha love happy endings?

Off to Perth at some ungodly hour in the morning for the Romance Writers of Australia Roadshow, then on to Broome. Pearls and diamonds…oooh, yeah! More later.

I can never find any of the lids to my Tupperware containers. Yes, they live in a cupboard, but it’s a low corner cupboard and I have to bend right down to peer into it.  Therefore, I can NEVER seem to find the square lid that I need for the square container - only the round one. I’m convinced those pesky lids go skipping off somewhere like teeny-weeny flying saucers. 

So here’s an interesting scientific study on where Tupperware lids get to.  Don’t miss the most gorgeous video of a puppy playing with Tupperware too. Scroll down a tad.

We all know I’m the Queen of Procrastination ruling over the Land of Clutter - because I say so frequently. But is it only me? When you open the cupboard door, do your lids line up like soldiers and salute?.

From today, I’ll be trying a new type of post on the blog - short, cute and quirky. As you may have noticed, I’m finding it harder to write longer posts as frequently as I would like. It’s not a Good Thing for the posts to come further and fuuuuuurther apart, is it?

On the other hand, it’s also not a Good Thing for me to skimp on my real job - which is writing the best books I can for you to read. Is it?

So I’ll be trying to blog every couple of days, even if the post is a minimum - a joke, a picture, a link to something interesting. But because I can’t resist talking to you about ideas and interesting stuff and Life In General, I will still be writing longer posts, but I’ll be popping in the other bits and pieces to keep you amused in the meantime.

Here we go - one cute and one quirky (C&Q). You guess which is which.

The first “Testicular Guard” was used in cricket in 1874.

The first helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

 BTW, you’re welcome to send me C&Q (cute and quirky) fodder.

I haven’t seen anything like this for courage for ages. It’s not easy to stand there while people sum you up in a single, swift glance and then snicker behind their hands.

Next time someone says you don’t have what it takes, that you can’t do it because…blah, blah, blah. Hell’s bells, next time you tell yourself you can’t do it because…blah, blah, blah - come back and watch this video again.

This is Susan Boyle, performing on Britain’s Got Talent, 2009 and it’s simply gobsmacking. Watch it first. Here you go:-

What did you think? I just adored watching their supercilious mouths fall open. Dear Lord, I hope she wipes the floor in the rest of the contest. I so admired her grace and good humour and quiet self-confidence - both before and after the performance. OTOH, with that voice, she’s got a lot to be confident about. Wowser!

An object lesson in “go for it, sister!” I’ll be cheering for her, but then we Aussies love an underdog! *snork*

I feel a bit guilty about this.  Because I know I should be the one providing the bloggy entertainment.

But the LOL cats are soooo majorly cute and sometimes incredibly clever and laugh-out-loud funny, that I’m going to forgive myself and do it anyway. So here we go..drum roll…

The LOL Cats!!!

Presented here on Under and Over for your delectation - and to make you giggle.

DD just adores the LOLcats. In fact, she was the one who showed me these pics du jour, meanwhile snickering her head off the whole time.

It’s most peculiar. I’m such a pedant about words and I simply can’t bear cutesy, fluffy things - things that are twee. And yet, the LOLcats are all about being cutsie-pie  - not to mention mangling the English language beyond recognition. Normally, I hate that!

Why do I enjoy them so much? I can’t quite work it out. The spelling/grammar abominations even seem to add to the whimsical appeal, provided I don’t have to puzzle too long to get the joke.  I don’t even mind the sugar hit, well, not too much.

There are lots more LOLcats on the website.

I’m more a cat person than a dog person, though I do like dogs very much. On reflection, I think I like the LOLcats because each photo shows love and understanding about cats, in all their infuriating, endearing feline-ness. Then there’s the sheer wit of some of the captions, like the dunecat one above. It’s only really funny (or even understandable) if you’ve read Frank Herbert’s classic fantasy/SF novel, Dune.

Did the LOLcats humour make you smile?

If you thought the “koala in the tub” photos were amazing, take a look at this piece of film of a koala drinking from a firefighter’s water bottle!

And there really is a happy ending to this one. I’ve seen a subsequent photo of the poor koala with her paws all bandaged. (It’s a female, BTW) She’s in a wildlife centre, being cared for - and a handsome male koala is very interested in our furry heroine. One of the nicest things, to my mind, is the delight in the voice of the CFA volunteer. He and his crew were obviously buoyed by being able to help the animal. Just as well, as they had to go fight another fire right after this film was taken.

But sadly, while there have been heartwarming stories of courage and miraculous escapes, the death toll stands at over 180, with more to come. The cost in despair and grief, not to mention the rebuilding, is pretty well incalculable. And it’s not over yet… The fires still burn.

If you would like to donate -

Go to either of these for humans:-

https://www.redcross.org.au/Donations/onlineDonations.asp or http://www.salvos.org.au/

For animals, go here - http://www.rspcavic.org/campaigns_news/news_bushfires.htm

You may know it’s been incredibly hot all through eastern Australia - as in INCREDIBLY hot! Temperatures of over 90F every single day. Blech!

These amazing photos have been doing the email rounds lately. The story goes that this little koala (it’s certainly not fully grown) wandered onto a back porch in South Australia looking for some heat relief. The householder filled up a bucket and this is what happened!

I must admit, I’m not very knowledgeable about koalas, so I’m happy to be corrected about any of this. They’re not bears, of course, they’re marsupials - the females nurture the young in a pouch. I’ve never heard of one drinking water like this. Normally, they get the moisture they need from the gum leaves they eat. This one must have been desperate, especially with humans so dangerously close.

They’re cute, all right, but you wouldn’t want to tangle with a mature koala - look at this little guy’s claws! And they make the most extraordinary, spine-chilling noises. Years ago, My Beloved and I were walking through bushland in country Victoria when we heard this long, drawn-out, banshee howl. I was convinced it was the legendary bunyip, coming to devour us. But no, high up in a gum tree was a big boy koala, head thrown back, mouth wide-open, bellowing his mating cry. He was so totally ready for lurve. I hope he found it!

And I’ve just remembered - years ago, when I was first writing, my daughter and I mucked around with an idea for a YA fun novel about vampire koalas. And it was all based on that terrifying cry out in the lonely Bush. Hmm, maybe I should write it. I have the first draft somewhere…

Got a good story about animals cooling down? Or just a koala comment? I’d love to hear it!

I’ve always been fascinated by Murphy’s Law. I’m sure you all know how it works.

It’s generally stated as Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

You know that perverse way the toast has of falling buttered side down? That’s in itself an immutable law of physics, noted as far back as 1841, in this little verse.

I never had a slice of bread,
Particularly large and wide,
That did not fall upon the floor,
And always on the buttered side.

The general concept has existed since the first humans learned to speak, but it’s only been sixty years since the Law was attributed to Murphy.

What’s even more interesting is that Murphy actually existed. Edward Aloysius Murphy Jr was a successful American pilot who served with distinction during the war. Afterward, he worked as an aerospace engineer, concentrating on safety systems for experimental aircraft like the SR-71 Blackbird and X-15 rocket plane.

In 1949,  Murphy set up a series of experiments to assess the impact of G-forces (gravity) on pilots. He used the “Gee Whiz”, a rocket-powered sled on a railroad track that could reach supersonic speeds and stop in less than a second. Slam!

Murphy’s assistant hooked up the sensors to the volunteer’s (translate: crazy man’s)  body and they were off. Whiz, whoop — THUD! Ouch…

But the sensors failed to pick up any readings. Huh?

When Murphy checked, he discovered the sensors had been installed the wrong way around, invalidating the entire test.

Furious, he was heard to snarl, referring to the hapless assistant,   “If there are two ways to do something, and one of those ways will result in disaster, he’ll do it that way.”

The Press picked it up, simplified it, and Murphy’s Law became part of popular culture. Murphy, by the way, remained profoundly irritated by these simplistic versions, right up to his death in 1990. He saw the Law as a principle of good, defensive design - a willingness to assume the worst and therefore be prepared for it.

It’s a good idea, actually. Be Prepared, just like a Boy scout.

Still, think of the practical applications in your own life. The way the other supermarket queue always moves faster or your grandmother’s precious diamond ring falls just out of reach behind a heavy cupboard. I usually notice it at work with inanimate objects. They seem to have a set against me. *sigh*

What do you think of Murphy’s Law? How does it manifest in your life? And what do you think of O’Toole’s Commentary: Murphy was an optimist ? Oh dear!

Happy New Year, Dear Ones!

I’m sitting here in 34C (93F) heat, all sweaty and horrible, looking out into the branches of a magnificent Poinciana tree. In fact, the scene is very much like that on the right. It’s stinking hot (we don’t have air-conditioning, let alone a pool). There’s not a breath of air and the animals are sacked out on the bathroom floor, which is tiled. But it’s still a beautiful day - the first day of a whole new year of possibilities and potential.

The older I get, the more convinced I am that a person’s emotional outlook shapes not only their life choices, but their physical health.

And science seems to bear this out. A 2004 study by the University of Texas in aging and attitude concluded that those with an upbeat, optimistic view of life were less likely to show signs of physical frailty than pessimists. A 2003 study showed that people with an energetic, happy and relaxed outlook were less likely to catch the common cold. Interesting, isn’t it?

Now, DON’T DO THIS IF YOU THINK YOU’LL BE SPOOKED, okay? There’s a site called the Death Clock. Yeah, I know, sounds a bit creepy, but it’s obviously designed to encourage people to lose weight and give up smoking.  You enter data about yourself, age, BMI, whether you smoke etc and it computes your date of death.

But here’s the kicker, if you’re game. There’s a variable for attitude - normal, optimistic, pessimistic, sadistic. Go back and change just that one variable. Wow! Going from pessimistic to optimistic garnered me an extra thirty years! I’ll take it, thank you very much.

The mind-body connection is an astonishingly powerful thing.  What will you do with it in this wonderful new year? I know it sounds nuts, but I’m going to try to get to sleep earlier, even if I have to put my bedtime back five minutes at a time for weeks.  I’m a night owl and I often don’t go to sleep until after 1am. Besides, I like talking to you guys Over There.

Unfortunately, the workaday world doesn’t march to my drum. If I could get up earlier I’d have some chance at establishing a routine. My Beloved has achieved an extraordinary weight loss and fitness improvement because he has a routine. That’s what I need and I gotta start somewhere. So…

What changes are you going to make in your life in this brand new 2009? Forget world peace, we all want that. I’m interested in you! And even more to the point, tell us how you’re going to ensure the change ACTUALLY HAPPENS. What steps and strategies will you put in place, hmm?

Welcome to the “First Time” cross-blog. 

In honour of UNLACED, our first anthology together, Jaci Burton, Jasmine Haynes, Joey W. Hill and I are talking about our “firsts” - first kiss,  first date, first love and first break-up.  Ah… Those were the days… When I originally read the stories, I was caught between laughter and tears.  Thank all the Powers That Be I’ll never see sixteen again!

Visit each of the blogs in turn to chat about a first and check out the giveaways from each author. I’ve put an easy link for you under each story. FOUR chances to win! We’ll announce our winners on Monday, 8th December.

I’m giving away a signed print copy of A RED HOT NEW YEAR, or a download of any of my Ellora’s Cave books. You choose.

So, how did you survive your first break-up, hmm?

Jaci Burton:

My first breakup was with my first love. We’d been together for two years, had gotten engaged and I knew I was going to spend forever with him. But I was young, naive, and obviously needed to open my eyes to a few realities. So did he. He was very much a Mama’s boy. And when I bought a new car instead of saving money for a house like his mother thought I should, his mother told him I wasn’t good enough for him and he broke up with me. Even though I was crushed at the time, I really should thank her for that because no way would I have wanted to marry a 21 year old man who broke up with his fiancee because his mama told him to. Yikes!

Visit Jaci’s blog for the First Kiss stories and Jaci’s giveaway!

Excerpt from Jaci’s story, The Ties that Bind.

Jasmine Haynes:

My first break up was with Bob (see my answer to the first love question on Joey’s blog!).  It took me a year to get over him.  I also had to quit my job working for his mom because I cried every time I saw him.  At 17, you cry over everything.  I was like a watering pot.  But as much as I hurt over Bob, part of my grief was losing his mom as well.  Sometimes I look up to Heaven and think, “Thanks for believing in me, Chloe, I finally got published.”

Visit Jasmine’s blog for the First Date stories and Jasmine’s giveaway!

Excerpt from Jasmine’s story, Undone.

Joey W. Hill:

Oh, it was so horrible. I was quite the messed-up teenager (think Winona Ryder’s always despairing character in Beetlejuice, and you’ve about got the right picture of melodramatic/I want to die/my perfect life sucks angst – shudder). If I was my mother, I probably would have drowned me and started over (lol). Anyhow, I had dated this boy for several months in 10th grade. He was my first real boyfriend. My first love (see my blog and Jasmine’s for more about him) was so perfect – we didn’t even have a terrible break up. We were a long distance relationship and so mutually and amicably agreed that it was best to let one another go, though vowing always to be willing to watch out for one another if needed.

Back to my first real boyfriend. Here’s a cardinal rule – NEVER date anyone as messed up as yourself. Together we were the perfect self-esteem negative-zero, dysfunctional duo. When he got bored of me (and yes, those were his words – “I’m bored of it”), devastation ruled my life for the next several months. I did all sorts of humiliating, despicable things to win back his affections, pulling in friends to pass notes to him, sneaking past his house, arranging “chance” meetings, and cried so many tears into my pillow it’s a wonder I didn’t get face rot.

Thank God and any other responsible power, none of it worked. Eventually, a friend of mine introduced me to another guy more than willing to treat me badly and capitalize on my lack of self-respect, and life moved on. Fortunately, there are wonderful men out there, like my first love, and the man I ended up with. My husband makes me feel like a worthwhile human being every day, and all the lessons I learned from that first break up (as well as wonderful first love, and all the relationships in between) helped strengthen my relationship with him. For everything you endure or receive, there’s a reason! I’m also glad I didn’t get face rot (wink).

Visit Joey’s blog for the First Love stories and Joey’s giveaway!

Excerpt from Joey’s story, Controlled Response.

Denise Rossetti:

I went out with a guy who happened to own a vintage MG. It was a terrific car, loads of fun, but a tad - ahem - unreliable. It was also his major topic of conversation, and after a while I ran out of things to say about vintage MGs. I didn’t know much about them at eighteen. Still don’t, in fact.

I was much more interested in his friend, who, now I come to think of it, looked exactly like a racecourse spiv.

Anyway, my guy and I – do you know I can still see his face, but I don’t remember his name? Isn’t that awful? We drove off to a country picnic in the MG and part of the way home, it shuddered to a stop. “Aha!” said the MG nut, “I know what it is. The fuel line’s blocked. I can fix that.”

He leaped out, popped the bonnet and proceeded to SUCK the fuel line clear. Got that?

We drove home, and – you guessed it – he then leaped on me and attempted to clear my fuel line with his tongue.

The technique might have worked like a charm on the MG, but a petrol flavoured kiss did nothing for me. I’m funny like that. And that’s when I realized he had no sense of humour either.

That was it. Over.

Excerpt from my story, Rubies and Black Velvet.

Remember, I’m giving away a signed print copy of A RED HOT NEW YEAR, or a download of any of my Ellora’s Cave books. You choose. We’ll announce our winners on Monday, 8th December.

Tell us about your first break-up. Did you walk away sighing with relief or was your heart broken clean in two?