Archive for April, 2010

Apr
28

New Drugs for Women

Posted by Denise on April 28, 2010 under Humour, Wordplay

New Drugs for Women (tee hee!)

DAMNITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA’S WORT

Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, ‘You make me want to be a better person. ‘

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN

Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

Thanks, Jules!


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Apr
19

Magic on your ereader

Posted by Denise on April 19, 2010 under Books, Life, Quirky

Gutenberg would have a fit. Imagine if the written words on a screen were watching you reading them and making adjustments accordingly? Eye-tracking technology and new generation tablets promise to react, based on how you’re looking at text — where you pause, how you stare, where you stop reading altogether. The act of reading will change what you are reading.

The entire concept boggles my tiny mind. Watch the video for an excellent explanation of how it will work.

The technology monitors your eyes in order to define words if you stare at them puzzled, eliminating non-essential information when you’re skimming, helping you pick up exactly where you left off, swapping images based on what you’re reading, surfacing relevant reference materials and more.

Ebook readers and multi-purpose devices like the iPad will have reader-facing cameras, attached to large screens and coupled to processors capable of running eye-tracking software.

The pundits say that to compete for our attention with other methods of storytelling, books need to evolve — especially for readers born more recently — and this (it’s called Text 2.0) is one way forward, enhancing the written word with more than just multimedia fireworks.

Most of you will know I’ve always thought storytelling was a form of magic. Here’s Fledge speaking for me in Tailspin -

Stories have a power, a magic all their own. Consider the fact that the actions, thoughts and feelings of people who have no existence in reality can make you laugh, make you weep. That’s the art and that’s the magic.

Arthur C. Clarke said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And here’s an excellent example.

I’m trying to work out how I feel about this. I guess you could just ignore reference material if you didn’t want it. For example, you might be interested in the biology of flight when you read Tailspin, you might not. And if you had any kind of reading difficulty, this technology could be enormously helpful.

It could be totally amazing. Certainly our grandchildren will probably take it for granted. What do you think? Will you?


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Apr
09

An Era is Over - Rackety Kate, Ch29

Posted by Denise on April 9, 2010 under Excerpts, Freebies, Humour

An era is over. Yes, Rackety Kate and the Pirates has finally come to an end. I know, I can’t believe it either. Kate has been with us since September 2007. More than two years. Wow! That’s a while to wait for your HEA and Kate was never exactly the patient type. *grin*

This last one is a bumper chapter - much longer than normal. I found that once I started I felt even meaner than usual about breaking off on a cliff-hanger. Especially for poor Jack. He’s had a rough time. Aw…

But before you dive in…

THANKS!

Thanks for your taking this journey with Kate and Jack and I, and for challenging my imagination by voting on what happens next. You’ve kept me on my toes! Lord, it’s been fun. *smile*

All the chapters are up on my website, but the complete ebook of Rackety Kate and the Pirates comes in at more than 55,000 words, 29 chapters in all. Not bad for free, hmm? It’s my exclusive gift to newsletter subscribers. Sign up here.

So what will I be doing instead? Writing my socks off, that’s what! Not being tied to a regular episode of Kate frees me up wonderfully. I’m about halfway through Book #3, the ‘Earth” book, in the Four-Sided Pentacle series and having a seriously good time. Mehcredi is currently driving Walker slowly but surely out of his mind. *heh heh*

Plus, I’ll be creating vignettes for you, glimpses of characters you already know, not every month, but about every quarter. I already have half of a Griff and Fort scene, in which Griff is trying to decide how best to celebrate Fort’s natal day - if they can work out when it is. Lots of scope for Griff-type wickedness there. *chuckle* I’ll let you know.

Here you go, my dears. Read on with my love…

Rackety Kate and the Pirates

Chapter 29

Endings and Beginnings

The story so far:
Kate is a surprised but delighted witness to the Comte’s Happy Ending with the Hormone Harlots. Tearing herself away, she rushes back to the boardroom to find…

You can read all of Kate here – http://www.deniserossetti.com/kate.html

From inside the boardroom came the rumble of masculine voices. A man laughed. It wasn’t Jack. God, she wasn’t ready for this. Kate tugged at the jacket of her nicely fitted lawyer suit. She glanced down. Buttons buttoned, shirt points still crisp, skirt smooth over her hips. She was even wearing matching bra and panties - she hoped.

You’re not mad, she told herself. The Comte is real, the Hormone Harlots are real. Her breath caught. Boy, are they ever! Taking a firm grip on her case folder and notebook, she straightened her spine. Therefore, Jack must…

Oh, shit.

Tap, tap, tap. The sound echoed softly down the corridor. Shazelle, of course. Had to be. Tap, tap, tappity…TAP! Or possibly not.

A little reassured, Kate gripped the door handle in sweaty fingers. Now.

She threw the door open and took a single step into the room.

Five heads turned toward her, five pairs of eyes surveyed her trim form with deep masculine appreciation.

Kate stared back, frozen.

Her eyes met Jack’s. He was seated in a large leather chair at the far end of the table, his hands resting on its arms, every inch a corporate pirate. He was clean-shaven now, but the russet brown hair was just the same, expertly cut to showcase its thickness and health. The gold shot hazel of his eyes still reminded her of a tiger’s gaze, intent and predatory. His suit jacket had been tossed aside, his sleeves rolled up to show strong forearms, an expensive looking gold watch on one wrist. His tie was little askew, as if he’d been tugging at it.


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Apr
05

STRONGMAN’S in print!

Posted by Denise on April 5, 2010 under Books, Contests, Excerpts, Freebies

STRONGMAN is in print!!! Hallelujah!!! Can you believe it? I cannot tell you how delighted I am. Perhaps you can guess, hmm? *chuckle*

To celebrate, I’m giving away a signed copy. Yep, anyone who subscribes to my newsletter before midnight Sunday 25th April goes in the draw to win. Existing subscribers already have an easy contest to try, so if you subscribe quick, you’ll have two chances.

drum_roll.gif   Sign up!      Sign up!       Sign up! drum_roll.gif

Just so you know, I started the year with a completely revamped monthly newsletter. The format is all new and nifty, no more clunky old Yahoo!

Every month in your inbox - giveaways, exclusive sneak peeks at new work, contests and prizes. Not to mention the occasional vignette with characters you know, and hopefully, love.

And because I love you, there are free gifts on joining, among them the complete Epilogue to Strongman - only available to newsletter subscribers.

Read an Excerpt | Read the Reviews
Read the free Epilogue

Ebook: Ellora’s Cave
Print: Ellora’s Cave | Australian Bookstores

Here’s a taste to celebrate. I still think this is one of the best kisses I’ve ever written. I know I enjoyed it anyway. ;-)

About the Book:

A hard-bitten mercenary who’s had a gutful of mud and blood and death, Fortitude McLaren joins the Ten Nations Fair as a roustabout.
Tough, cold and competent, he’s shocked and angered by his hunger for Griff, a circus acrobat. Brought up in the bigoted society of the Straight Church, Fort regards manlove with casual contempt. Not for him. Never for him.
Athletic, cocky and single-minded about he wants, Griff sets about getting it. Fort fights with everything in him, but Griff affects him like no one else. It’s not just his strong, supple body. Fort is irresistibly drawn by the openhearted friendship the other man offers so freely.
Fort may have found a friend, but the cruel memories of his childhood are the greatest enemy of all. When a job for Jan the Aetherii puts Griff in danger, Fort discovers what’s really at risk - everything he is and everything he’s ever believed in. To save Griff’s life and preserve his own sanity, Fort must not only fight the battle in his soul, he must win it.

Excerpt:

Griff wiped his mouth with the damp cloth Fort handed him, careful not to get grease on his costume. Sourly, Fort reflected it had obviously been designed to showcase and flaunt the body, with a standing collar to frame the tumbler’s lively face, the smooth, strong muscles of his shoulders and arms exposed by the singlet-style top. Golden-brown hair curled rakishly over his brow, tumbled over the collar. It needed cutting. A light mat of hair furred his chest, golden down dusted his forearms, glinting in the lamplight.

The tights were so positively, gloriously indecent, Fort had to keep dragging his gaze back to Griff’s knowing eyes. He could swear the other man was laughing at him, completely unabashed by the outline of a more-than-adequate cock stretching the knit fabric, clamped against his flat belly by the material.


“So the deep-fish pie was all right?” inquired Griff politely. “I wasn’t sure, but Ember loves me, so I begged for noodle cakes as well.”


Fort frowned from where he sat on the edge of the bed, the shaving lather drying on his face. He’d bolted the food, made them a cup of hot roberry, keen to finish the job and get rid of Griff’s confusing presence. He tightened his grip on the razor. “She loves you?”


“Sure.” Griff grinned. “All women love me. It’s part of my peculiar charm.” He blew on his roberry.


“Peculiar is right,” grunted Fort, grimacing as he scraped. “Who’s Ember?”


“The glass-blower. Makes all sorts of baubles. And she can cook.” Griff sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Immediately, it tumbled back over his forehead. “She’s a lovely woman, but so sad. And she won’t tell me why.”


“Some people actually have dignity, reserve.” Fort pulled the skin of his cheek taut. “You wouldn’t understand that.” The razor whispered over it, leaving a chill in its wake.


“Mmm. But everyone needs someone to love.” Griff drained his cup.


Fort laid down the razor. “To fuck, you mean.”


“That too.” Griff examined his features so boldly, a wave of heat rolled through Fort’s belly, washing over his aching cock, his balls lifting in automatic response. The tumbler said, “You missed a bit.”


“No I didn’t.”


“Here, hold these. I’ll get it.” Griff thrust the shaving brush into Fort’s left hand and the soap dish into his right. “Lean back a bit.”


“Griff —
oompf!” The tumbler clambered onto the bed and knelt across him, Fort’s thighs between his knees. He pushed Fort’s chest with the heel of his hand, and to his own bemusement, Fort felt his shoulders hit the wall behind him.

The chill of the razor iced across his neck. “Lift your chin and don’t move.”


His stomach knotting with apprehension and arousal, Fort did as he was bid. Controlling his problem absorbed his entire attention. So did the heat of the tumbler’s body, his clean scent, of soap and flesh and muscle. Nothing like a woman’s soft feminine smell.


A woman. Desperate for balance, for normalcy, he lassoed a random thought. “Can Katahaya really wrap her ankles around her ears?”


“Don’t know.” Humming under his breath, Griff drew the razor over Fort’s chin, one strong hand cradling his jaw, holding him still. “But she sure wrapped them around mine. Don’t move, I said!”


“You’ve had her? But I thought—”


“I only fuck men?”


This time, the flush felt like a fever. Fort knew he reddened, clear to see without the protection of the whiskers. He made an indeterminate noise in his throat.


“Then you’d be wrong,” said Griff calmly, but a drop of sweat coursed slowly down the side of his neck. “Usually, I prefer women. I’m making an exception for you.” Carefully, he ran the razor under Fort’s chin.


Fort could scarcely believe his ears. Or his reaction. The surge of his blood was so violent, it made him light-headed, stupid. When the other man drew back, running a considering thumb over freshly shaved skin, he said, “Gods, Griff, you’ve got balls.”


As soon as the words were out, he could have taken the razor and sliced his tongue off at the root. “I mean…ah, hell. Get off!” He heaved with his hips, but all that accomplished was to press his hungry cock against the tumbler’s hip.


Griff froze, exhaling in a gusty rush. “Not yet,” he said absently. He plucked the towel from around Fort’s neck and wiped away the last of the foam, taking his time, grinning when Fort swore at him. “There.”


He leaned back a little, his right hand braced on Fort’s shoulder, still holding the razor. “You look…” A slow flush crept over his golden cheek and his sloe eyes narrowed. “Uh, lots better. That’s how you look. Your eyes have gone all dark and smoky.” His hands clenched, closing over muscle and bone. “Fuck, I can’t do this slow anymore.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Remember the razor.”


Griff’s lips came down on his, surprisingly soft and hot. Gods, so
hot!

The shock stiffened every muscle in Fort’s body. Especially one. In panic, he tried to jerk his head away, but Griff murmured, “Nu-uh,” into his mouth and something cold pressed under his ear. Shit, the razor! He froze and Griff chuckled.


When he opened his mouth to curse, Griff slipped his tongue inside, humming with delight. Hot chills raced up and down Fort’s spine and then Griff curled his tongue around his and the world went away, lost in some sort of soft red explosion of lust. His fingers relaxed and the soap dish bounced to the floor. The shaving brush followed with a wet splat. Dimly, he heard a clatter as Griff tossed the razor aside, but he was completely preoccupied with the amazing sensations careering through his body. He’d never been kissed like this before, with such strength and ruthless expertise. Griff seemed to read his mind, knowing exactly when to push and when to pull, when to lick, when to suck.


Strong fingers speared into his hair, gripping the back of Fort’s skull, tilting his head for better access. Griff pressed hard into his body, chest to chest, his cock mashed into Fort’s stomach. He shifted his hips, enough that his stiff length rubbed all along Fort’s. The coarse fabric of Fort’s working trews rasped over the sensitive head of his cock, Griff’s shaft throbbing against his, right through two layers of clothing. The other man did it again.


Ruler God!


White-hot instinct obliterated conscious thought. Rearing up, Fort wrapped one arm around Griff’s waist, the other around his shoulders. He took them down to the mattress, rolling so the other man was pinned beneath him, taking advantage of his weight and size. Bracketing Griff’s head between his forearms, he nipped at his lips, ran his tongue over the tumbler’s crooked tooth, growling deep in his throat.


Griff growled back and one hand clamped on Fort’s buttock, the fingers digging in hard.


The sound of it, so deep, so masculine, hit Fort like a shower of cold water. Fuck,
fuck! What the hell was he doing?

He wrenched himself away. Panting, they stared at each other.


Fort’s head felt curiously empty, wiped clean of coherent thought. Finally, he said, “You’re shaking.” He’d get up in a minute, of course he would, but Griff had spread his thighs to accommodate his hips and he wasn’t particularly uncomfortable. Not physically, anyway.


“That’s because you’re going to kill me. But I’ll die reasonably happy.”


Strangely, Fort had to fight the desire to laugh, though the fact there was no air left in the wagon made it easier. “Only reasonably?”


“One lousy kiss isn’t worth dying for.”


Fort blinked, stung. “It wasn’t lousy!”


“We can do better.” Griff smiled like a hungry fellwolf and ran his hand into the open neck of Fort’s shirt, the pads of his fingers brushing a nipple. Fort could have sworn the tingle coursed all the way from his chest down to his toes, with a significant detour to the groin area. Under him, Griff murmured, “Care to try again?” sworn the tingle coursed all the way from his chest down to his toes, with a significant detour to the groin area. Under him, Griff murmured, “Care to try again?”

Read the first chapter | Read the Reviews
Read the free Epilogue

Ebook: Ellora’s Cave
Print: Ellora’s Cave | Australian Bookstores

 


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