Steampunk is the new buzzword around Genre World. Exactly what it means is open to interpretation, but there do seem to be a few constants. Like dirty great steam machines. heh heh

This video is an absolute hoot. Totally brilliant. What’s more, it contains most of the elements of ’steampunk’ - especially the aforesaid dirty great steam machines. *grin*

Enjoy!

Thanks to Eleni for drawing my attention to it.

A few days ago, Fedex delivered a box full of The Flame and the Shadow at Chez Rossetti. After the cries of joy, I liberated them from the packing and hastened to arrange them on the bookshelf. It gives me such pleasure to gaze at them, scads of the little darlings, all in a lovely row.

Actually, “little” is the operative word, because these are the mass market version. When The Flame and the Shadow was released this time last year, it was in trade paperback. All big and fancy, yeah, yeah. But I have to say trade paperbacks leave me cold. I much prefer the smaller size.

To be honest, I cannot think of a single thing in favour of trade paperbacks. Can you?

Let’s see…

1. They cost more. I’m a reader just like everyone else, but I’ll think two - or three, or more - times before paying for a trade paperback by an unknown author.  I really hate that my work is priced out of anyone’s reach. It embarrasses me. Here in Oz, book prices are appalling, so I’ll use US prices. At Amazon, Flame is only $6.00 right now, because the mass market will be released on 6th October and they’re selling out old stock. But it was $15.00 Ouch!
2. They don’t fit on my shelves! I like to see the spines of my books, but I have to shove trades in on their long sides. Looks dumb.
3. They don’t fit in my handbag either. Or if they do, they peek out the top and unbalance me.
4. They weigh more, so they cost me more to post as contest prizes. And from Oz, postage is a killer, believe me!
5. I have really small hands, so I get tired of holding the damn things.

I suppose there could be a prestige factor. They do look kind of grown-up and impressive. The artwork looks great because they get a larger canvas. Okay, I guess that’s two things. They’re not to be sneezed at either.

You see? All that wonderful swirling Magick in the background. Ah…

I just wish the damn things didn’t cost so much? *grump, grump* What do you think? Do you like trade paperbacks? Would you pay the money for a trade written by a new author?

Read an article in the paper recently about why women have sex. Among other things, the researchers said that men find most women at least moderately sexually attractive, whereas women don’t find many men desirable at all.

I was really caught by that. SNAP! I thought. Because the sad truth is - I don’t find many men attractive. Of course - *cough, cough* - I am the perfect exemplar of feminine beauty, so I have every right to judge. Not!

Please don’t think that I don’t look, because I do - ALL THE TIME! (No sacrifice is too great for my readers.) In fact, we went to a football (Aussie Rules) preliminary final last weekend and my eyeballs were revolving, checking everyone out. I love people-watching anyway, because after all, I’m a writer, and there’s nothing as interesting as people, but… but…

I’m such a picky bitch. Even the merest hint of flab, forget it.  Slightly pigeon-toed? Nu-uh. Short? Nope. Ordinary features? Nah, not good enough.

I’d always thought it was “just me”, you know? That I was pretty cold and mean. This is the reason I don’t give detailed descriptions of the faces of my heroes. I, um, can’t.  The same reason I don’t go looking for photos of movie stars or models to base them on. I find it too much of a come-down to visualise them as men who actually exist.  No real man could be as gorgeous as what’s in my head. *smile/sigh* It’s also why I like covers where you can’t see the faces.

How often do you look at a complete stranger and think, “Phrrrroar, he’s a bit of all right!” ? I mean, based on looks alone - not after talking to some guy and finding he’s funny and interesting and generally a terrific person. Even if he is a bit soft around the middle and has a few spots.

I definitely do notice bits and pieces. A boy with unbelievably blue eyes. A guy with beautiful hands. A jogger who’s tall and built. I once nearly drove up a telegraph pole because I was leering at cyclist with the most beautiful legs I’ve ever seen on a man. Probably just as well the helmet hid his face. He couldn’t possibly have lived up to those pins.

I mix ‘em up and put ‘em all together for my heroes. Oh, and sometimes I add accoutrement, like, uh, tails and wings. *grin* But one entire gorgeous package - nope, not even on a movie screen.

Mind you, to keep us all entertained and off the streets, I’m including pics of my most recently discovered lust object - Vampire Bill from True Blood, in the person of actor Stephen Moyer. He’s got that whole broody, dangerous thing going that really does it for me. And a particularly nice hairy chest. Yum. But if I met him? I’m sure he’s a lovely man, but bet I could find something to put me off. (Actually, now I come to look more closely at his chin…) While he, of course, would be completely swept off his feet by my mature charm and beauty. Right.

So, is it just me? Or are you incredibly picky about who shares your fantasy four-poster?

The Taxation Office decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the city office.

The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer in tow. The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the Taxation Office finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa, unfazed. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and shrugs. “Okay. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks again. Why not? It’s not as if he can lose. He says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

Grandpa sure isn’t blind, so after a moment’s hesitation, the auditor takes the plunge.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s lawyer as a witness. He starts to get real nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” asks Grandpa. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

There’s a terrible moan from the other side of the room. Grandpa’s lawyer is sitting with his head in his hands, crying.

“Heck, man, are you okay?”asks the auditor .

“Noooo!” sobs the lawyer. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!”

Boom, boom! I love clever jokes. I thought it was funny. You?

 It’s newsletter time, which means…

Rackety Kate and the Pirates

Chapter 22

Love’s a Trap

The story so far:
Jack and Kate are safely hidden in the garden, ready to witness Duka’s submission to Harley and Chan. But no one has counted on the Duchess – except, perhaps, Duka.

You can read all of Kate here – http://www.deniserossetti.com/kate.html

“I hate you,” the Duchess said. “God, how I hate you.” Without warning, she went up on her tiptoes, kissing Duka so hard she almost knocked him back a step. Reaching up, she raked the blindfold away.

In the process, she cannoned into Harley’s arm. He cursed and Duka grunted. But the First Mate’s huge hands came up and clamped onto the Duchess’s shoulders, pulling her hard into his chest. They both hissed when her pale breasts collided with the hard slabs of his chest.

“Ah sweetheart,” mumbled Duka against her lips.

“Shit, can ye hear yerself, man?” snorted Harley.

With a flick of one big brown paw, Duka sent him reeling into the wall, so hard the building shook. Rebounding, Harley disappeared into a pile of cushions. The First Mate didn’t even look up.

Kate pressed her face into Jack’s warm, hard chest to stifle a giggle. His whisper stirred the hair on her temple. “Told ye.”

By the time Harley’s head had emerged from the devouring embrace of silks and satins, the Duchess had half-climbed Duka’s body as if he were a tree, a sturdy jungle giant. He had one palm braced under her raised thigh, his other arm cinched around her waist.

***

Want more? You can read all of Kate and see more pirates on the Rackety Kate page. Want even more than that? Join my newsletter - see below.

Subscribers to my newsletter get to interfere with Kate’s love life. Sign up to join the fun!

I’m particularly interested in your opinion of review sites at the moment.  And I have particular reasons. First of all, I just received a glowing review from Dear Author for Strongman. I’m always delighted when someone “gets” what I’m trying to do. Joan/Sarah F. did.

The romance is most beautifully perfectly done. Each step in their relationship reveals more about the individuals, where they come from, who they are, why their partner attracts them, and what they’re going to do about it. The focus of the story is mainly Fort’s journey and I just fell in love with him as he fell in love with Griff but had to push himself to accept it.

The sex, by the way, was amazing. Fort is the title’s “Strongman,” but Griff is a tumbler and can give as good as he gets. Evenly matched, each sexual encounter is a fight for dominance and it’s hot and fascinating and each scene is integral to both plot and character development. B+

Read the rest…

Isn’t that great? I’ve been beaming ever since. OTOH, I did wonder what on earth you have to do to be awarded an A from Dear Author. There are writers I consider waaay above me reviewed on this site who remain “A-less”.

Which brings me to my second reason for seeking your opinion. I need to organise my promotional activities for Thief of Light - like, yesterday. *sigh* Being me, I’m dithering. I only have so much time to give and I don’t want to waste it. Haaalp!

Tell me, which are the review sites you trust? What do you think of their rating system? Which are the blogs you read on a regular basis?

And more to the point, do they influence your book purchasing behaviour in any way whatsoever? For example, I won’t buy a book online unless I can read an excerpt first. No excerpt, no sale.

Introducing… Amber Sand, creator of, Write First Time,  a nifty new blog for writers. http://write-first-time.blogspot.com/ She’s kicking it off by interviewing meee! But - ahem - that’s not the best part, not really. What’s she done is brilliant, a great resource for new writers - an alphabetic glossary of the terms you’ll find in this crazy industry. Amber not only has a great imagination, she possesses a keen and logical mind. Take advantage, my dears. *smile*

• Battling with backstory?
• Confused about conflict?
• Angling for an agent?
• Reflecting on royalties?

Amber has the answers. And she’s putting more of them on the blog every day. Check back often for your “writing ABC’s” , or suggest a term that puzzles you.

She’s a wicked woman, that Amber, plying me with wine over a pleasant lunch. The most enjoyable interview I’ve ever done! Potential interviewers, please take note. *hint, thud, drop!*

What piece of publishing jargon particularly confuses and/or irritates you? I’d love, love you to pop over and tell us all about it - say g’day while you’re there.