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Rackety Kate and the Pirates

Chapter 18

High Bid

The story so far:
Kate and Jack are guests of honour at the pirates’ auction. Duka presides over a mouthwatering selection of goods, human and material. The bidding’s about to start on the Duchess…

You can read all of Kate here – http://www.deniserossetti.com/kate.html

“Aye!” called Harley, leaping to his feet. “I ain’t skeered, ye great lummox. I’ll bid a keg of finest brandy!”

Duka growled, but the red-bearded pirate waved his tankard, his teeth flashing in a grin. “”Twenty gold doubloons!” He belched. Clapping a dainty hand over her nose, Ess rolled her eyes and fluttered away to perch on a palm tree.

“Fifty!” yelled Chan, his almond eyes snapping with excitement.

“Sixty doubloons and I’ll write all yer letters fer a month.” Peter’s voice carried clearly in the soft night air.

Slowly, Duka turned his head and glared at Peter where he lay, delectably displayed on the couch. “You ain’t allowed to bid,” he rumbled. “You’re goods, dammit.”

“Oh.” Peter flushed adorably. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Got carried away.”

“Hmpf.” Duka turned back to the audience, the light of the torches gleaming on the dark bronze of his massive chest, sparking fire from his gold nipple rings. “Fifty doubloons. I’m bid fifty doubloons. Speak now, for God’s sake, or shut the hell up.”

Chan and Harley had their heads together, whispering.

Red Beard staggered to his feet. “A hundred!” he bellowed. “One-fuckin’-hundred gold doubloons!”

The silence was so complete, Kate could hear the torches spluttering.

Red Beard chuckled. “There, Cap’n,” he said to Jack. “That’s shut `em up.”

“It certainly has,” said Jack dryly. He nodded at Duka. “Go on.”

But Duka’s head was bent, whispering to the Duchess. Kate saw her white fingers clench hard on his dark forearm. The woman trembled, every limb vibrating with apprehension. Kate caught only the occasional word from the First Mate. “Can’t beat…shit, sorry…don’t cry, love.” Clumsily, he patted her back. “Gotta…ah, fuck.”

His shoulder sagged, he lifted his head and inhaled deeply. “Going, going…”

***

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I threw a book at the wall the other day. Okay - I actually tossed it onto the desk - but it was from a distance of a couple of feet. I don’t usually treat books that way, not my dear friends and companions.

So why the fit of pique?

Overload - that’s why! A huge honking overload of information, all in the first two chapters.

Now, I love me a good helping of things-that-go-bump-in-the-night, honest I do. I read a lot of paranormals. I’m cool with devils and witches and demons and succubi and faeries and Sidhe and elves and goblins and imps and trolls and shifters. Well, of course, I write fantasy. Duh!

For heaven’s sake, I even wrote a paranormal story about a devil and a banshee. Come Howling, in Ellora’s Cavemen: Seasons of Seduction 1 I don’t write vampires, because unlike the incredibly wonderful Joey W. Hill, I can’t think of anything new to do with them.  Besides, they’re D.E.A.D. *whispering*

But this book? Aaaargh! There were demons and vampires and succubi and Goddess knows what running around. And either they were related to each other in extremely convoluted ways or they were having mad alien-monkey sex, breaking up, killing each other and then starting all over again. The author must have a brilliantly detailed world living in her head - with the emphasis on detailed. This is the first of a series, so to be fair, she had to set up not only the story arc for this book, but for the series as a whole.

Nonetheless, I completely lost patience with it. Couldn’t be bothered going on. I don’t have much time to read anymore and I want to be hauled headfirst into a tale so gripping it won’t let me go. Perhaps if I’d persevered I would have had my reward. But hey, I didn’t, I was tired. My internal Picky Bitch from Hell was yelling in my ear, “Life’s too short!”

And no, I’m not going to name names. I’m being mean enough as it is. Suffice to say, this series is doing quite well. And you’ll notice I’ve travelled far enough up my own fundament to think I’m beyond info-dumping. Hah! (Don’t tell me, okay? I don’ wanna know!)

This is something I think is particularly endemic in paranormals. Do you agree? I wonder if it goes with the world-building territory and I should suck it up? Is it just me? Perhaps I’m being unfair. How long do you keep going before you launch the book across the room?

Strongman is a finalist in the Passionate Plume Awards for erotic romance!  Isn’t that terrific? *beaming*

Some of you may recall that Tailspin actually won the the Futuristic/Fantasy/SciFI category last year. And I was there in San Francisco to accept the award. I was one happy Aussie camper, let me tell you. Click here for the post I wrote about it. Warning: hysterical babbling and silly pics ahead. *snork*

Obviously, I’m delighted, over the moon. Yes, it means I have a chance to win the award two years in a row. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? But lordy, I’d have to be lucky. The competition is terrific. I’d love it though - and one reason is that it’s the most wonderful validation. (It certainly doesn’t seem to make any difference to my sales! *wry grin*)

“But didn’t you get all validated and everything when Tailspin won?” I hear you ask. Yep, I sure did, but this is an open contest - and Strongman, as you well know, is a male/male romance. I am soooo thrilled that the judges considered the love story and the fantasy elements good enough to final against all the other erotic romances. My opinion has always been that true love is true love, regardless of what skin suit you’re wearing. Guess the judges agree!

The other reason is more materialistic. The award itself.

It’s the most gorgeous silver pendant/charm. I  have mine on my charm bracelet - the one I wear every single day, even at work. There’s a charm on it to represent every book I’ve completed. It reminds me of where my soul finds refreshment and satisfaction.

Oh me, oh my, I’d positively lurve to have two of them! Sadly I won’t be at the RWA Conference in Washington in July to attend the award luncheon, but never mind, I have plenty of mates going.

If you’re interested in the original reaction to Strongman, there are lots of readers’ comments attached to this post. And if you’d like to read the free epilogue (in which Griff finally turns the tables on Fort), all the details of how to do it by joining my newsgroup, plus the most magnificently sensual drawing of male nudes wrestling, is in this post.

Ah, wot the hell. Here it is anyway. *sigh*

Happy dancing at Rossetti Towers…

I haven’t seen anything like this for courage for ages. It’s not easy to stand there while people sum you up in a single, swift glance and then snicker behind their hands.

Next time someone says you don’t have what it takes, that you can’t do it because…blah, blah, blah. Hell’s bells, next time you tell yourself you can’t do it because…blah, blah, blah - come back and watch this video again.

This is Susan Boyle, performing on Britain’s Got Talent, 2009 and it’s simply gobsmacking. Watch it first. Here you go:-

What did you think? I just adored watching their supercilious mouths fall open. Dear Lord, I hope she wipes the floor in the rest of the contest. I so admired her grace and good humour and quiet self-confidence - both before and after the performance. OTOH, with that voice, she’s got a lot to be confident about. Wowser!

An object lesson in “go for it, sister!” I’ll be cheering for her, but then we Aussies love an underdog! *snork*

 Happy Easter, my dears! Regardless of whether you’ll celebrate - or how. Here, in honour of the season, are two things that are excessively sweet. Enjoy! Hope you’re good at withstanding temptation. heh heh

Aw… Don’t you love those big blue eyes?

And now, for the second item…

THE MOST DANGEROUS CAKE RECIPE

 5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

Ingredients:

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Instructions:

1. Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
2. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
3. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts (high).
4. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed!
5. Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
6. EAT! (This can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?

Because now you are only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

 Evil, aren’t I? *cackle*

Have a wonderful Easter, especially if there’s family time involved.

I’m aware that some readers find light text on a black background difficult to read. If this is a problem for you, here is an easy - and free! - fix.

There is a bookmarklet you can use to change the black background to white and the text to black instantly on any page in your browser window (no more highlighting text).

Here’s how to get it.

1. Visit  https://www.squarefree.com/bookmarklets/zap.html
2. There’s a list of bookmarklets that “zap” stuff. Choose the one that says zap colors.
3. Click on it and drag it to your Bookmarks or Links toolbar, where it becomes a bookmarklet, ready to be clicked whenever you need it. (Like a cabana boy.)
4. Next time you come across a black background page, just click your zap colors bookmarklet. Voila!
5. Try it right now, if you like. See? It works!

I’ll be making this a permanent page on the blog. Look for it any time.

With thanks to Sloan, who posted this information on Reviews by Jessewave - which has a black background.

I’m not the maternal type,  okay? That’s just the way it is.  It’s true that I did want  my kids - we have two, one each flavour. My Beloved and I planned for them and I loved them with amazing (to me) intensity right from the start.  I’m so proud of what wonderful, unique, clever, funny human beings they are now. But maternal? Nope, was never me. The thought of having a family footy team fills me with horror. Babies? Aw, yeah, cute, but I could always take ‘em or leave ‘em. Unless they were mine, in which case I took ‘em on a permanent basis.

All of which is interesting - because of the reaction I had to this picture right here.

This is a British Rugby player called Ben Cohen, with one of his twin daughters.  They’re advertising something - could be colic medicine - but hell, who cares?

Wham! One look and I dissolved into a puddle of hormonal “aw gee”. Let’s face it, I’ve seen lots of pics of the most divinely masculine men, all in the name of research, of course. *ahem* But I simply cannot get over how powerfully this image affects me, given I’m so totally not maternal and all. And I’ve had the similar reactions to gorgeous men with little babies before.  I’m consistent, is all I can say.

So WTF is this? Exactly?

Here’s my theory - it’s a Cavewoman Thing.  There’s something buried deep, deep in my little girly hindbrain that screams, “Whoa, the perfect mate. Grab ‘im, woman. QUICK!”

Look what we got here :-

• proof of virility in the form of baby. The dude is fertile!
• proof of great genes - look at that body, look at the gorgeous healthy kid
• promise in the muscles that’s he’s strong, strong, strong - enough of a warrior to protect me and kids from any threat
• promise of fabulous sex. Oh yeah, mama!
• protectiveness in his whole posture, the way he holds the baby
• great eye contact with offspring.  This is one warrior who’s capable of nurturing. He’s not going to knock us around.
• expression on the little one’s face. She feels totally safe with her daddy, totally loved, completely confident in his grasp.

Am I the only one to find this father/child stuff so powerful? BTW, it doesn’t work on me if the kid is older. It has to be a little bub. Which I think confirms it’s those cavewoman instincts at play. Fascinating!