Sorry, folks.  Here at Chez Rossetti, our telephone and Net access has been going up and down like a yo-yo.  We’ve had wild storms - high winds, lightning, hail. Flash flooding too. Pretty scary. Before you ask, we’re fine here, no damage, though others haven’t been so lucky.

It’s the strangest thing, though, every time we’ve been cut off, I’ve felt like I lost a limb. Or that I’m blind, deaf and dumb, like Tommy the pinball wizard in the rock opera by The Who.

What I especially missed was the Net and email.  I had NO idea I was so dependent on it for communication and it’s a bit sobering. I’ve said before, in a joking way, that I need a 12-step program for email addiction. I’m beginning to think it’s not quite so funny. Of course, in self-defence, I can point out that I do business by email with my agent and editor, who are both in New York, but still…

What about you? Are you addicted to email? What about blogs? How much of your time is spent on email or evenjust surfing the Net?

The Unlaced authors will be chatting at Two Lips at 8pm EST. (That’s 11am, here in Oz.) So if you’d like to talk with Jaci Burton, Jasmine Haynes, Joey W. Hill and myself and get a sneak peek at our stories, come along. I’d love to see you there!

You’ll need to subscribe to the group -

Either, visit   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TalkingTwoLips/join
-OR-
Send and email to TalkingTwoLips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

There’s been a lot of talk about Baz Luhrmann’s new movie, Australia.

A little while ago, when it first started gathering pace, I thought to myself, “Yep, might go see that one. What’s not to love? Hugh Jackman and David Wenham. Yeah!”

And then I read somewhere that the Drover (Jackman’s character) dies at the end.

That did it. Nope, wasn’t going. Nu-uh, no way. What a total waste of time and money, I thought, if there’s no Happy Ever After.

Next thing you know, Baz Luhrmann did some audience tests and changed the ending. The Drover survives.

I’ve changed my mind - sort of. I might go, I might not. Jury’s still out.

But it occurred to me how completely I didn’t want to see that movie unless the romance came right in the end. to the point that I thought I would have wasted my time if it didn’t. I had no idea I was so wedded to the lure of the HEA. It reminded me of the time I bought an m/m novella from an ebook publisher. I read all the way to the last page - where it finished unhappily ever after. I was outraged, truly. Insulted, disappointed, furious. If it hadn’t been an ebook I would have thrown it against the wall. I’d invested my feelings in the characters and the author had let me down.

What about you? Are you deeply invested in an HEA? How do you cope if there isn’t one? Does it spoil your reading/viewing pleasure?

It’s newsletter time tomorrow, which means…

Rackety Kate and the Pirates

Chapter 13

Calling the Shots

Jack stared across the clearing, a challenge in his tiger eyes. “So,” he said. “You’re giving the orders, are you Kate?”

Achingly conscious of Duka’s heat and bulk at her back, Peter’s hand on her waist, Kate shook her head. “No,” she husked. She glanced at Harley’s bad boy grin, Chan’s calm, focused expression. Something bubbled inside her, something very like mischief - intertwined with joy.

Slowly, she leaned back against Duka’s massive chest. “I’m going to leave it to Harley and Chan.” Ostentatiously, she let her gaze linger on three hard shafts, bobbing delightfully against three cobbled bellies. “All I want is to see them drive you clean out of your mind.”

Harley chuckled, a low, wicked sound that made her sex throb with longing. He ran his palm from the point of Jack’s shoulder down over the flat slabs of his pectorals, over a tight brown nipple and down to his navel. There he stopped, his fingertips a hairsbreadth away from the rosy head of Jack’s cock. Kate watched, fascinated, as every muscle in Jack’s magnificent body went rigid.

“I think we can manage that,” said Harley. “How long do you think you can hold out, Cap’n?”

“Long enough,” snarled Jack, spots of colour flying on his cheekbones. “Damn you.”

Duka leaned forward to nuzzle the side of Kate’s neck. “C’mon, darlin’,” he rumbled. “Over here.”

From overhead, came a long roll of thunder. Oh hell, Rossetti, thought Kate. Don’t do this to me. Not rain, not now! But when she glanced up, it was a pink-shot cloud that was drifting down the mountain, wisps of it tangling with the treetops. The air sparkled with tiny motes of iridescence and Kate’s skin tingled.

“The magic of Sweet Sisters Isle,” said Duka with a dark chuckle. “You’re done for, Jack, my friend.”

Want more? You can read all of Kate and see more pirates on the Rackety Kate page. Want even more than that? Join my newsletter - see below.

Subscribers to my newsletter get to interfere with Kate’s love life. Sign up to join the fun!

Many thanks to Meg, who’s sent more photographic evidence, so precious to me - who is STILL waiting for her author copies.  *grump* Here’s our girl -

I think they make a lovely couple! Thanks so much, Meg!

You have to wonder. Some people seem to have a tenuous grip on reality…

A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the “two-dimensional world.” He even launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.  Within a week he has gathered more than 1,000 signatures.

Of course, this is all about “manga” comic books, which are incredibly popular in Japan - and it’s not clear how tongue-in-cheek the suggestion is. I do have to say that some of the “yaoi” boys drawn by Japanese artists are very sexy, in a willowy, big-eyed kind of way, but I don’t think I’d want to marry one. (Not only that, he wouldn’t want to marry me, given I have the wrong plumbing.)

Who would you pick as your comic book lust object? I’m partial to the Phantom, always have been. I think what I like is that he doesn’t have any superpowers, just abs of steel and his skull ring. He also has sufficient nerve to wear his undies on the outside, plus he’s a dedicated family man and all around decent guy.

On the other hand, there’s Wolverine. Fancy him rotten, (especially when it’s Hugh Jackman) though those blades could be a worry in moments of passion…

I thought this was hilarious (also clever), but then we all know I’m a twisted little person. Thanks, Elaine! *snork*

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Tracy or Jack..

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Tracy came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.

She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said:

‘Tracy, I’ve never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off .’

‘Could you jack off?’ she replied, ‘I’ve got a headache.’

If you know other jokes like this, that depend on a wordplay, I’d love to see them! Maybe we could put them together in a post.

It’s been such an extraordinary week that I’ve been desperate for distraction. I was definitely going NUTS! So I took myself off (all alone) to see Mama Mia.

It did the trick - in spades! I came out humming and dancing. I did the booty-wriggle all the way back to the car. It’s a mercy you weren’t there.

Honestly, is there anything Meryl Streep cannot do? I was gobsmacked. The woman can sing, really sing.

Which is more than I can say for Pierce Brosnan. I’ve seen his vocal performance in this movie described as reminiscent of a wounded water buffalo, but truly, that’s a tad cruel. It wasn’t quite as bad as that. Not, um, quite. Let’s just say as a singer, he makes a great James Bond.

What’s more, he did it all with a straight face. He must have been paid squillions.

Colin Firth was great - sang his own song and played his own guitar. In fact, there was an incredible amount of hairy chest all around. No problem.

Julie Walters and Christine Baranski as the best friends were so funny and out there. And the story actually worked with the songs. It was cleverly done.

I know critics  have not been kind, but honestly, I didn’t care. I wanted a “feel-good” time - and I got it! And as for that island! OMG, it was gorgeous. I want to live there while I write the great Australian novel. No, wait a sec - I want to live there while I write great erotic, drop-dead sexy novels.

I admit to having a couple of ABBA “greatest hits” albums. I play them when there’s housework I can no longer avoid. Bopping through the vacuuming does help.

Have you seen it? What did you think? Who did you go with? Was it better with a friend? And what about ABBA - could they write dance songs, or what?

I’m blogging RIGHT NOW with Romance Novel TV! (Thursday 6th November, Over There)

Quite apart from the fact that there’s yet another copy of THE FLAME AND THE SHADOW up for grabs, I’m talking about what makes fantasy so, well, fantastic.

Oh yes - and how absolute power corrupts absolutely and how I’m above all that.  *buffs nails and fluffs hair* Very appropriate in a post-election world.

http://www.romancenovel.tv/wordpress/rntv/marias-blog/

And TOMORROW, Friday 7th November, I’ll be over with BAM GALACE, chatting with you about what gives us all the shivers. But don’t worry, I’ll remind you.

And - you guessed it, I’m giving away another copy of “you know what”. Just click “excerpts” in the Categories menu on the left for lots of tasty tastes.

I think I’m a trifle confoosled. It’s possible that Blastoff Day was yesterday. Or possibly last night. Oh hell, never mind, pass the dried frog pills.

Hope all you Over There had a super election experience. It sure turned out interesting… Thank heavens for The West Wing, aka “American Politics for Aussies 101″.

The point is - that my baby’s out there! Yay! In good bookstores everywhere. And here’s the photographic evidence. Thank you, thank you, ladies. I absolutely LOVED seeing these!

First, here’s Clynax, bless her, in the store with The Flame and the Shadow. Geez-Louise, they look good together! :-)  Note also that the book is in the SF and Fantasy section. That’s because Berkley published it in their Ace line. (Like they do with Charlaine Harris. heh heh) Mind you, I suspect there are a few SF/F fans out there in for a bit of a shock! Look, look, I’m right next to Tolkien on the next shelf. Poor old dear is probably spinning in the grave.

Next up is our good friend, Dani, who’s, um, camera shy. In this first pic, she used her camera-phone to immortalise The Flame and the Shadow in the bookstore. I think Cenda looks particularly elegant and beautiful in that company, don’t you?

And here we have The Flame and the Shadow where it belongs - on Dani’s bookshelf at home, keeping excellent company by the looks of it.

If there are more sightings, please, please send me any photos. It’s such a pleasure to see them - and you. *beams*

Want more? Read Chapter 1.