The Amorous Adventures of Alice

This is purely for fun, yours and mine! *evil grin* Let me perform the introductions here -

Dear Reader, meet Alice.
She's kinda chunky, short-sighted and dreadfully uncoordinated. She has a fat, old scaredy-cat and a decent bust. She drinks like a fish, is woefully untidy and- you guessed it - she's desperate for LURV. It's been a long dry spell for our girl... Alice needs your help!

Alice meet the Readers.
Alice dear, help is at hand. No, no, don't look at me like that - it'll be fine, I promise. Trust them, they're readers, they want the best for you. Would they laugh?

At the end of every chapter, you will find three choices. Subscribers to my newsletter got to interfere with Alice's love life. We had a lot of fun!

The entire file of The Amorous Adventures of Alice is my free gift for newsletter suscribers - a complete book, all formatted for your ebook reader. Subscribe now!

Chapters 1 to 5 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format) Includes -

  • Chapter 1 Through the Licking Glass Also in HTML
  • Chapter 2 The River of Mirror Also in HTML
  • Chapter 3 Armored and Dangerous
  • Chapter 4 Blam! Kapow!
  • Chapter 5 Real men Don't Ask For Directions

  • Chapters 6 to 10 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format) Includes -

  • Chapter 6 The Eyes Have It
  • Chapter 7 Fur 'N Leather
  • Chapter 8 Fairy-bred and Circuses
  • Chapter 9 An End in Sight
  • Chapter 10 An Orgy of Discretion

  • Chapters 11 to 16 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format) Includes -

  • Chapter 11 A God-Almighty Twang
  • Chapter 12 The Tap, Tap, Tap of Doom
  • Chapter 13 Distracted by True Lurve
  • Chapter 14 Five Minutes of Fairy Hell
  • Chapter 15 Twice the Fun
  • Chapter 16 Worth Every Cent

    All site content and design © 2007 Denise Rossetti unless otherwise stated

    By reading on, you are signifying that you are over 18 years of age.

    Chapter One
    Through the Licking Glass

    There was a freakin' angel sitting on the end of the bed. A Being of Light, for chrissake.

    Alice raised her aching head a scant inch and took another squint. Nah. Just a dazzle of sunlight streaming in through a chink in the curtains. Better get back to that cute optometrist guy down the Mall and have her prescription checked.

    She rolled over and buried her head under the pillow, ignoring an indignant mew from Bobby, curled up behind her knees. That last glass of red had been a major mistake. Her tongue felt so furry she suspected fleas were a real possibility. What a revolting thought.

    "A-lice.A-a-a-lice." crooned a deep, velvety voice.

    "Nnngh." Alice snuggled further. She'd spent last night in a wine bar with Kate. That Kate, she was nothing but a Bad Influence masquerading as a Best Friend. Not to mention being drop-dead freakin' gorgeous, petite and slim, completely unlike-. Ruthlessly, she stopped the thought cold with the ease of long practice. Chunky was-well, chunky-and there was a place for it. A rather large place, dammit.

    "Wakey, wakey, there's a good girl." A warm breeze gusted over the foot that stuck out from under the sheet and she wriggled with pleasure.

    "Wh-wha?" Alice peered over her shoulder. Her neck cricked. The nimbus of light still hovered at the foot of the bed. She shoved out a hand and groped for the glasses on her bedside table. As she did so, Bobby let out a startled squawk and levitated to the top of the wardrobe, a fat, furry blur of motion. She'd never, ever, seen him move so fast, not even the time a mean old rat had sashayed across the kitchen floor and sneered at him as it passed.

    Alice fumbled the specs on. "Holy shit!"

    She shot upright, her heart thundering.

    A voice said, "Yum," in tones of deep, masculine appreciation.

    Alice glanced down and let out a yowl Bobby couldn't have bettered.

    Her breasts bobbed, all perky and abundant, crowned with rosy-brown nipples and nicely pebbled. Pajamas made her claustrophobic, so she wasn't wearing any.

    Alice's stomach turned over and kicked her hard in the solar plexus. All the breath whooshed out of her. "Woo-wha-who-" Her voice cracked. "Oh god, oh god, the police "I'm calling the police. Right now." She lunged sideways to scrabble for her cell phone and her breasts swung right along with her.

    The light made a growling noise. "Don't bother." The tone changed. Now it sounded positively wistful. "I can't even touch you, let alone cause you pain."

    Alice hauled the sheet up to her armpits with one hand and aimed the cell like a gun with the other. "Get out!" she squeaked, waving the phone for emphasis. Dragging in a lungful of air, she tried again. "Out!" That was better. "Out before I call the cops."

    The light shook its head. Now she was looking, really looking, with her eyes stretched as wide as they would go, she could see it was more or less man-shaped. She pushed the glasses back up her nose with one finger and stared. Arcs of rainbow luminescence shimmered over it, gleaming with a cool, beautiful radiance. Yes, shaped like a big, broad man, except. She swallowed. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what was that?

    "You've got wings," she whispered.

    "That's right." The man of light nodded and something rustled as the wing-shapes arched and glowed above his head.

    "Are you an angel? Am I going to die?"

    "Now why would you think that, sweet Alice?"

    No one said she was stupid. Alice left that one alone. She cleared her throat. "What are you ?"

    "What do you think I am?"

    She hugged the sheet closer to her body. "Oh for god's sake, answer the bloody question!"

    "I represent the collective will of a lot of people - intelligent, caring people who read books. They want the best for you, Alice."


    "I promise you pleasure beyond your comprehension," said the man of light, his voice as smooth as chocolate pudding. A wonderful aroma drifted past Alice's nose, made up of all the things she adored-clean pine, warm man, potpourri, rain in the dust, sun-warmed sheets. It sped straight to her hind-brain, engaging every instinct she had. Trust him, murmured that seductive smell, you know you can trust him. He's everything you've ever dreamed of.

    Arousal kicked low and hard in her belly and her thighs trembled. She ignored it. "Yeah?" she said, fear making her crude. "What do I have to do? Suck you off?"

    The beautiful scent disappeared and a chilly breeze made the curtains billow. Alice shivered. "No," he said, his tone flat and disapproving. "Just kiss the mirror." A big, glowing hand gestured at the full-length antique mirror she'd inherited from her auntie.

    "This is nuts," she said, ripping the sheet off the bed and tucking it securely under her arms. "That crazy Rossetti woman told me she was going ask her readers to help me, but I thought she was taking up a cash collection." Alice planted both sturdy feet on her bedside rug and stood, glaring. "All right, Collective Will, you've had your fun. Take your silly costume and get lost."

    "It doesn't matter what you call me as long as you do what you're told."

    The man of light stood and drifted smoothly toward her. Did he have feet? She couldn't see any. Oh god, oh god. Her skin felt too tight for her body, especially her breasts.

    "Will's as good a name as any other," he purred, his voice strumming her nerves like a choir of angels - if angels sang baritone. He kept on coming.

    Alice took a step back. Then another. And another. She jerked as her bare shoulders smacked into the cold surface of the mirror.

    Will loomed in front of her, emitting that gorgeous, sexy smell. Jeez, whatever he was, he had to be pumping out more pheromones than a cologne factory. And now she'd grown more accustomed to the glow, she thought she could make out the outline of a stubborn masculine jaw, a fall of long, thick hair.

    His voice dropped to a commanding growl. "Turn around, sweet Alice, and kiss the mirror."

    What should Alice do?
    1. kiss the mirror
    2. jump Will's bones (if he has any)
    3. RUN!

    The majority of newsletter readers voted for A. - kiss the mirror. OTH, there were a few delayed gratification addicts who wanted her to run. Tough luck, guys.

    All site content and design © 2007 Denise Rossetti unless otherwise stated

    Back To Table of Contents

    Chapter Two
    The River of Mirror

    Alice lifted her lip in a sneer. "Right. And when I kiss the mirror I'll go to straight to Wonderland. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200." Pity she couldn't stop her mouth trembling.

    "That's right." There was a smile in that dark chocolate voice. A warm flow of air flirted with the edge of the sheet where it flapped against her knees. Will's glow intensified and Alice had the mad thought that he'd make a first class lighthouse. The breeze dived under the sheet and trailed ghostly fingers of delight up the inside of her leg.

    "Stop that!" She tried to slap the feeling away and Will chuckled. A ghastly thought hit her. "Oh god, I haven't shaved my legs!"

    The breeze dropped. "Really? Does it bother you?" said Will.

    "No! Yes!" Alice shut her eyes. "Oh, this is nuts!"

    "My instructions are to make you happy, so if you want to be hairless, by all means." A shining arm gestured and a wave of prickling heat ran up Alice's calves and over her knees.

    She gasped and hopped from foot to foot. The tingle paused at the tops of her thighs and surged on.on to. "Aargh! Stop, stop!"

    "Uh, sorry. Got a little carried away."

    Alice clutched the top of the sheet in a death grip and peered underneath. She moaned. "Oh nooo. I'm as bare as a."

    "As a-?"

    She swallowed hard. "And it tickles."

    "What a pity. Show me and I'll blow on it." Will's voice went husky with greed.

    "No!" But she had to admit, it felt interesting. Well, more than interesting, in fact. Incredibly sexy. Smooth and slippery and tingling and.empty.

    "The mirror, Alice," Will reminded her.

    "Right." Her attention still firmly fixed on the amazing sensations between her thighs, Alice turned and pressed her lips to the chilly surface. Nothing happened and she stared at the outline of her lips on the glass, the mist of her breath. Then the surface she'd lip-printed rippled. It puckered, parted.

    The impression of a face swam out of the glass. It had long-lidded dark eyes, extravagantly lashed, and precisely sculpted silver lips. Alice goggled.

    The lips opened. "Thweetie!" bubbled a watery voice.

    "Nnnngh?" said Alice, twisting to gaze up at Will's radiant face. She put the back of her hand to her forehead. Nope, no temperature.

    "Mirrors don't have teeth," said Will helpfully. The outline of his aura shrugged. "Pretty though."

    "Why thank you, thweet thing," caroled the mirror. Two slim, shining arms wrapped around Alice's waist and a cool palm slid over the ample curves of her bottom. "Oooh, nithe, very nithe."

    The arms tugged her closer and Alice watched, open-mouthed as her breasts sank into transparent, liquid silver. It felt soft and thick, like sinking into cool custard. Her nipples crimped. She craned over her shoulder. "Will," she whispered in desperation. "Will!"

    "I'm here."

    As her head submerged, his glow shimmered in front of her and she reached out a beseeching hand. Will's head shook. "I can't touch you, darling. I'm sorry. Not until-"

    "Until what?"

    He didn't answer.

    Whatever the silvery substance was, it had a definite purpose in mind. A current carried Alice along, faster than she could walk. "It'th thimple, thweetie," murmured the mirror in her ear. "Relax, relax. Like a mathage, thee?"

    Her sheet slithered away and Alice dived after it, but it twisted like a water snake, evading her grasp. "Shit, shit!" She covered her naked mons with both hands, but that left her breasts exposed. "Oh double, triple shit!"

    "Such language. Tsk, tsk."

    Alice turned a basilisk glare on Will, floating comfortably beside her, hands tucked behind his head. "I'm naked, you idiot!"

    "I'd noticed. Except for the glasses." The wistful note had returned, but this time it was spiced with a healthy dollop of testosterone. "That's the prettiest pussy I've seen in eons." "You-you-" spluttered Alice, hunching into a fetal position and squeezing her eyes shut. His voice dropped to a feral growl. "And the most biteable ass."

    Alice clapped a hand to her rear and let out a wail.

    Will drifted closer. "Don't cry," he said. "You can be angry, but I hate it when you cry. See?" She opened one eye and gasped. He was fading. "Don't go away. Come back!" His glow steadied a bit. "Will, don't leave! Please!"

    "Oh, all right," he mumbled and his wings fluffed, reminding her irresistibly of Bobby in a huff. "Anyway, I don't see why you're so upset. You have a beautiful body. Endless curves and real tits, the kind a man can fill his hands with. Not to mention that ass." He sighed and his aura pulsed and warmed.

    "Will, you're pink!"

    He chuckled in an embarrassed kind of way. "So are you," he pointed out.

    Alice opened her mouth to argue that, at the moment, she didn't have a choice when it came to being rosy. Then she thought better of it.

    "Nearly there, thweet cheekth," burbled the mirror.



    Her belly grounded on fine, white sand. Like a beached whale, she thought in disgust.

    "Aargh!" She shot straight up into the air. Then she glared at the placid surface of the water. "You goosed me!"

    The mirror face formed among gentle ripples. It blew her a kiss. "Thorry," it said. "Couldn't rethitht."

    "You'll pay, you thit!" snapped Alice and slapped her forehead. God, now she was doing it!

    Shaking her head, she adjusted the specs on her nose and turned to look. Her brows rose. Wonderland wasn't too damn bad at all. It reminded her of a shampoo commercial. Herbal, definitely. There was the obligatory waterfall, the greensward, the bowers of wild roses. She peered. Nope, not a single thorn.

    "Like it?"

    Will's breeze feathered over her cheek and drifted down to her cleavage like a questing touch. She brushed it aside. "I'd like clothes. Now!"

    "You sure? You look so pretty the way you are. All bare." A pause. "Edible." Another pause. "Delicious."

    Frantically, Alice covered her ears. It left the rest of her exposed, but that seemed a small price to pay to preserve her sanity. Her only consolation was that she was so wet, spontaneous combustion shouldn't be possible. Technically. She pressed her thighs together and yelled, "Clothes, clothes, clothes!"

    "All right, all right!" snarled Will. "There's no need to yell."

    A golden arm waved. A sharp ping! like an elevator bell and a clothes rack stood in the glade. Three garments hung from it, each inside a large plastic bag. With a sob of relief, Alice seized the first and ripped it open.

    Her jaw dropped. A cheerleader's outfit, complete with a tiny, flirty red skirt, a belly-baring lycra top and pom-poms. Pom-poms?

    "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" She grabbed the second bag. A black leather bustier she'd spill right out of and matching leather trousers that laced all the way up the sides. With red laces. There was a whip, though.

    She fixed Will with an accusing glare. "You chose these, didn't you?"

    A happy glow. "Sure did. Specially for you."

    "You - you - man!"

    "Well, I was." He brightened. "And I will be again." His aura went a little blue. "I hope."

    "Yeah, yeah. Me too," muttered Alice, attacking the third bag with fingers that shook.

    Her eyes bugged out. For chrissake, it was a suit of armor, complete with a helmet, visor and sword! And Xena breastplates. She turned slowly to stare at Will.

    "Well, you didn't like the other two." He spread his hands and shrugged. "I thought I'd try something different?"

    Alice's knees buckled and she collapsed to the velvety greensward. She buried her head in her hands. As if from very far away, she heard Will's beautiful baritone. "Choose, Alice. You have to choose."

    Which costume should Alice choose?
    1. the cheerleader's outfit
    2. the black leather number
    3. the suit of armor

    The majority of newsletter readers voted for Alice to choose C. the suit of armor. (And don't think I haven't made a note of your names!)

    All site content and design © 2007 Denise Rossetti unless otherwise stated

    Chapters 1 to 5 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format)

    Chapters 6 to 10 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format)

    Chapters 11 to 16 in Adobe Acrobat (pdf format)

    Back To Table of Contents

    Four-Sided Pentacle Universe:
    The Flame and the Shadow Thief of Light The Lone Warrior The Dark Rose
    Unlaced Laced with Desire
    Phoenix Rising:
    Gift of the Goddess Tailspin Strongman Guilty as Sin
    Kaminski Family Stories:
    Come Howling A Red Hot New Year
    Free Stories:
    The Amorous Adventures of Alice
    The Amorous Adventures of Alice
    Rackety Kate and the Pirates
    Rackety Kate and the Pirates

    Click here for all the Free Stories!


    All site content and design © 2007 Denise Rossetti unless otherwise stated

    Rose graphic courtesy of Corbis